May 11th, 2006

Finally, Some Attention

Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

Stalkers are twats. A cautionary tale from heymaggie.

wurmwyd is stalking heymaggie
wurmwyd’s REAL name : Stewart Wardrobe
wurmwyd’s REAL DOB : 10th November 1978
Height :175 cm Weight : 98.0 kg
wurmwyd has dreamt about you : 18 times
wurmwyd became interested in you : 14th February 2004
wurmwyd’s latest dream about you
You are on a golfcourse with wurmwyd and your tormentor is showing you kinky new ways to make use of the putter.
This is how wurmwyd describes your relationship behind your back
‘heymaggie thinks we are just friends! Ha! I’m moving in for the kill!’
wurmwyd’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
wurmwyd was seen parading around town with heymaggie’s missing beret.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
wurmwyd took a bit far when they gouged your name into their arm with a tablespoon.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I wanna be your dog baby. Woof fucking woof, I’m coming to get you in my sheepskin jacket.

The Police
No. calls to the police : 16 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Police. Send someone around immediately, some bastardin peeping tom is staring in at me with binoculars. They are approaching my door. Hurry!"
wurmwyd’s Police File
There is every possibility that wurmwyd is a living incarnation of Satan.

Testimonies about wurmwyd
scartwink - Geek isn’t the word
‘It just goes to show that the world is full of sick, twisted perverts. I’m gonna fucking kill wurmwyd!’
bootbuilder - Snorts Lucozade tablets
‘All of this is incredibly funny. It goes to show how deluded heymaggie really is. I just wish it’d quit the act now and again. It grows a bit tiresome after a while.’
maggie226 - Eats everything.
‘It’s odd, I’ve known some weird fucks in my time and wurmwyd and heymaggie would definitely top that list.’


Your Mother is always with you.
She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.
She’s the smell of certain foods you remember,
flowers you pick and perfume that she wore.
She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well;
she’s your breath in the air on a cold winter’s day.
She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep,
the colors of a rainbow…
she is Christmas morning.
Your Mother lives inside your laughter.
And she’s crystallized in every teardrop.
A mother shows every emotion, happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger,
helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow...and all the while, hoping and praying you
will only know the good feelings in life.
She’s the place you came from, your first home, and she’s the map you follow with every step you take.
She’s your first love; your first friend, even your first enemy,
but nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not space...not even death!